I was preoccupied and withdrawn. I remember feeling hollow.
It was a hard day. Death is part of the job but this one hit me hard and unexpectantly. I couldn't get the image of her parents out of my mind. And when the surgeon came out to tell them that there wasn't anything they could do for their baby, the screams were deafening. I can't stop hearing the mothers sobs and desperate pleas for someone...anyone to save her sweet child. I just needed to stop the noise for a little while. I wanted to bath in the sweetness of silence and darkness. I remember the first few sips. And then running water. I could hear the dogs scratching at the downstairs door. I had probably left them out too long. Had I fed them? Was it too cold? I just needed to silence the mother's terror that kept ringing in my ears. Why were the dogs carrying on? Why all the noise? I just wanted the noise to go away...
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